Do you feel the pressures of the outside pushing in around you that you feel your 'caving' inside?
In our economic times, remaining true to ones creative self can be an unbelievable challenge. If you are an artist, or one who has made a 'daily' decision to stay true to your creative self, I trust you know exactly what I am talking about.
There are so many outside pressures constantly trying to 'influence' our daily commitment to remain steadfast in our creativity. When I made the decision 5 years plus ago to go back to my roots and pursue the art career that I had so easily withdrawn from in my younger years...Who would have known it would have presented itself with so many challenges to remain faithful and true, not just to the 'calling'...but to 'self'.
I consider myself fortunate and blessed in the life that I have finally chosen to walk out, after spending the majority of my life like so many others doing things that bring little life to our spirit. When we are 'doing things' that are not bringing life to our spirits, its like a slow death, it produces little life within, and little hope as well. 'Hope deferred makes a heart sick'... this is a scripture that I can so relate to in many areas of my past. Becoming more of a 'whole' person put a demand on my choices to be 'true' to self. That meant no longer discarding the fact of who I 'am' within. From the time I was born, I was born with a creative 'crave'...its just in there, its just what makes me tick, breathe! After years of 'squishing' this life giving source...I finally 'caved to the crave' and began making life decisions towards becoming TRUE to SELF. Its in the posture, that we become a life giving source to ourselves, and those around us.
The challenge...ABIDING in CREATIVITY despite the outer pressures. I am still walking this part out...even though I have remained steadfast in 'physically' creating, the challenge lies deeper within...inside the heart, the emotions...rising above the feelings, the fears, the hopelessness that rises within when the outside pressures are not in companionship but rather hard contrast moving and rubbing against one another rather than in harmony together.
I wake today finding myself in the rub...like sandpaper against a fine soft tissue...its an uncomfortable place I find myself more often than I like, and its response requires 'contending' to remain faithful to self. Its not a place to get wimpy, weak or defeated. Like our faith, staying true to self requires contending at times regardless of the pressures and voices that try to rise above the still small voice within.
I amaze myself at times at some of the content I decide to work on in paintings, finding that unknowingly they are works that not only display an outer 'emotion or feeling' but usually resonate what is going on inside...the last large 'set' of works I recently finished, I titled 'WarDance'...not surprising that they are symbolic of a real contending going on within to remain TRUE to SELF. Examine your heart this week, look at what you are creating...why are you creating it? Is it speaking to your creative self? If it is, good for You! Your being TRUER to Yourself than you thought. Is it mundane, then reflect on that as to why?... Our art should always remain true to ourselves as well...never allow the outward pressures to manipulate a 'spirit' of mundane in your creative expression.
When I find myself in this place, all I know to do is to remain TRUE. If your experiencing these feelings, be encouraged, your not alone out there...the word for the day...
'STAY TRUE TO YOUR TRUE SELF'